Essentials: Mirroring

Basically it is physically “mirroring” the movements or actions of the person you are interested in and (usually) talking to.

credit:FS101 Player Guide

Following – Doing the movements after she did them. Note that although your mind screams “This is stupid!” But, they never consciously notice it! Instead, they feel more comfortable and relaxed in connection with you.

Pacing – Doing the movements the same time with her. There’s nothing magical all supernatural about doing the movements at the same time. This stage is essentially a stage of transition between the first and the third. In mirroring there’s always a leader and a follower. So far she has been leading you (because you’ve been following her) but now you are coming to the stage when YOU will be leading her! And the inevitable stage between following and leading is pacing – you are doing movements simultaneously.

Leading – if you’ve done your mirroring right: followed and paced, then you are ready for a revelation. You can lead! Try it. Cough. She coughs. Scratch your elbow. Do a movement with your hands mimicking the parting of legs (this should be associated with something you are talking about; if it looks strange, she’ll notice it and you don’t want her conscious attention on your movements, keep her mind busy with what you’re talking about).

Advanced Mirroring
When someone is interested in a discussion, they tilt their head slightly. I thought that now that I knew when someone was interested, maybe I could do the same to “simulate” my deep interest in what they say.

When someone’s like “and you know, my dog just got a new collar and it fits wondefully with the living room furniture; the shade of green is just the same as the kid’s bedroom carpet and that’s great because…” – usually you would be using a few words they said (dog, collar, etc) and using the same adjectives (wonderful, great, etc) and ask something making them continue. But when you tilt your head slightly and do the same thing, it’s obvious the impact is much stronger.”